I am very happy
with this draft. Not necessarily because
it’s any better or worse than my first draft (I do think it’s better), but
because it’s simply done. I don’t know
why I had such a terrible time writing this particular draft of this particular
piece but I was very stumped for a very long time. Feels great to have something on the
page.
With this revision
I was trying to focus my piece as a story about someone who is truly home. I realize that this is largely still a
summary of Jerry’s life but I really tried to add more of a narrative
element. I’m not saying it is anywhere
near polished but I am happy with it. I
intend to work with my small group and Marin on finding a way to make it be
less of a summary of his life and more of an interesting piece. This is all I can think to write not but I
will add more later. Thanks guys.
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